Switzerland is good for you.

switzerlandand @ 2008-06-09T09:42:00

2008-06-09T13:46:08Z

Day by day by day

2008-05-01T23:03:36Z

Im feeling a little strange. Last night Joshua, John Gardner, Sonny, and I went to this bar called The Old Colony, which is Pinkies basically but a little more rustic sea side. The walls are all that dark yellow shiny wood as well as the floor and the bar itself kind of looks like someone just put it together with scraps from a boat they took apart. There are big bells and those lights that make everything yellow. Its right out of Pirates of the Caribbean. Everyone got WAY too drunk and sonny and josh went outside to smoke some weed with a few locals, which was a bad idea because when sonny drinks tequilas and smokes smoke, he does dumb things. So Josh and Sonny were kicked out of the bar for stealing mixers and chugging them. I feel very exhausted from it all. It is really hard to get back into the life of figuring out what everyone wants to do and working around other peoples likes and dislikes. Im not used to it. Its nice having people here but a little draining at the same time. I freaked out a little bit thinking about not seeing my family in so long and not being surrounded by friends.

switzerlandand @ 2008-04-24T20:52:00

2008-04-25T00:55:42Z

Today was nice. When I work alone I talk to the customer A LOT. Its nice though because some of them will stand around and talk about random stuff for a half hour. Really kills time! I sat on the beach tonight and made a bon fire, it was so nice. It kept me warm and was so beautiful. My grandma always said when you have a fire you have company. And it is SO true. its better actually. A Goofy Movie is on TV and I have to watch it whenever its on because it is actually one of my favorite movies. And I always cry at least four times. I cant wait to be a dad. I will be just like goofy. Too loving and smothering. Joshua will be here in four days. That is really going to change the way I am living. Im not saying that I will stop laying out nude on the porch....just sayin. haha.

I dont even know why, but even that scene makes me cry, CRY!

Im gonna be Powerline for halloween

MY DAY OFF!

2008-04-23T03:33:55Z

Finally a day OFF! JUST KIDDING. For reasons unknown I have had to work every single "day off" for the past three weeks. Today I worked for 13 hours :( but the store I have been waiting two months for to open finally did and I got to buy this shirt I have been eyeing for quite some time. I really was intending on giving it to jon lynn once I got it, but I dont know. I like it a lot. But it really reminds me of him. I got new glasses today, they are really thin frames and tortoise shell. Nice, but too smart looking for me. Or maybe too old. Im exhausted, Hans is coming tomorrow to clean which means I have to clean before, but all I want to do is lay on the beach. Its supposed to be 65 tomorrow! that is the hottest this year. Well see if that happens.

Passover

2008-04-20T13:54:16Z

Yesterday started with me being very angry at Sonny the boy I work with. He really manipulated the system and got out of work on the busiest day of the year so far, It was really interesting when someone needed a different size to try on and I had to RUN as fast as I could, find the clothes and then scope out if people had stone things..... It was stressful at first, but then I got really high on diet coke and turned up my Sly and the Family Stone radio station and everything was really easy. All I need is a sugar high and some graham central station to really inspire me. And thank god I have made friends in the older business owners here because I would not have eaten anything all day if this guy steve didnt show up with a slice of pizza and a diet coke. bless 'im. So I was stuck at work until 8:30 and had to RUN home to change pants and go to dinner/seder and The Red Inn with Robert and Suzie and a hand full of old people that he invites randomly. Sonny was there too. I know you are only allowed wine on passover but Robert bought me a bottle of Dom for myself? For some reason, so I drank it ALL! and thank god I had it too because I ordered a 2 1/2 pound lobster and it came with claws and tail and legs and eyes and IT WAS SO FUCKING GROSS. I couldnt eat it, it was the size of 88! I am used to lobster being all skinned and ready to just eat, but this was gross, I had to crack its rib cage and dig around its innards with a baby fork and suck things out of cavities, Granted I just didnt eat it, I gave it to Hans who was sitting next to me. It was just too much. Anyway so dinner ends and I am just completely wasted. Mission Accomplished. In other NEWS, my parents have gone completely crazy, the process is complete. I dont know if I have voiced this before, but I think they are going to be homeless for the rest of their lives. I hope thats not true, but thats what it looks like right now.
Next time in Israel Courtney

switzerlandand @ 2008-04-18T21:10:00

2008-04-19T01:21:38Z

I am beside myself, I am so tired. I have had the most exhausting four days and I know its only the beginning. I was properly inducted into my Manager position by Robert Duffy letting me know I am not working hard enough, that I dont know what I am supposed to know, and that my store looks like SHIT! hahaha. That being said I was at he store from 9 am to 2 am the day before he got there unloading 200 boxes between me and Luke. Its so weird. He yelled at me for the weirdest things, but he did pull me aside and tell me " Cameron, Im not mad at you, do you know that? I just want to show you how to run a business." So that made me feel a LOT better about the whole thing. We went to dinner and did that whole thing, and then the next day he started off mean again. He told me that I couldnt bring the dog to work! but I think he could really tell how much that upset me so he took it back and rented the apartment next to the office "so the dog has a place to go when its too hot" hahahaha but also for a lot of other reasons. "Are you happy now?!" Hes so funny. I think he is figuring out how he wants to treat me. apart from being mean he told me "I can tell somethings bothering you Cameron, if you need anything come to my house. Food, Cash, Car, whatever." So he kind of feels like a really great uncle when hes in the right mood. Besides work there is...... NOTHING. So many people are in town this week end, and it really amazed me how quickly everything turned around. there are groups of old hippie people on bikes going the wrong way down a one way, droves of teen age kids running around, and about an even number of gay and straight couples shopping. There is actually a really cool mens clothing, accessories store that is open now and a million antique stores. But really the last thing I care about right now is shopping. I just want to lay on my bed and watch the real housewives of new york run with a fabulous network of people and spend thousands of dollars at designer stores. Yeah, that sounds nice.

The Sun

2008-04-11T10:30:28Z

This morning I woke up in a very different, calm, optimistic, mood, right as the sun was starting to show itself at 5:30. Its hard not to first wake up then since my bedroom windows face directly where the sun rises. Instead of throwing my arm over my eyes and going back to sleep however, I decided to WAKE UP! To watch the sun rise, in honor of the birth of courtney!, in honor of my friendship with christian!, in honor of me being a new uncle to Grady James Castro as of last night!!!, and in honor of how amazing the son is. I think its going to be a good day. Happy Birthday Courtney!

Friday

2008-04-08T02:55:39Z

This morning I started my day by waking up late and calling a cab to get to work, I have been really sleep deprived and just exhausted. When I went to call the cab though, I could hear some really gay man talking to some lady, I listened to their conversation for a little while but it was really boring so i just dialed the taxi, and then I heard them talk about how they could hear me haha, this happened to me before a long time ago, but it was with my best friends cell phone and they couldnt hear us, we could just pick up on random calls occasionally.... it was magical. I told the taxi to come and I heard the guy say "oh my gawed its the boy from Marc Jacobs, HOW WEIRD" and I hung up. He later came into my work and told me all about it, and I pretended that I didnt know what he was talking about because I didnt want to connect with him or elongate the conversation, but he demanded that I call the phone company and have it fixed, and I said sure, but knowing me I will forget about it. I am way too distracted by how beautiful and magnificent 88 is. She makes me so happy. I made a video of her and I hunting jamaicans and running on the beach but Its too long to upload, I'm lazy. The jamaicans are all coming back and I really love jamaicans. well at least the ones I know. I was playing the Harry Belafonte station at work and they were alllll into it, with the drink the coconut water etc. and they tell good stories. Its nice to have new different "groups" of people to meet and learn their characteristics. not to say I live to learn generalities. My grandma randomly sent me a letter saying " I hope you are eating well and taking care of yourself, eat lots of fruits and vegetables and if you like buttermilk, that is very good for you" ............... hahaha. I cant say I like butter milk, but she is 95 so I might start drinking some. Everyone is suggesting things for me to drink lately, courtney and he something root, christian and his cream of creams and nana and her chunky milk. But im a try-er. I guess. Anyway im tired and I want to sleep for 12 hours so I will leave you with this.

http://giraffesat12oclock.ytmnd.com/

Ayayayay

2008-04-06T01:52:55Z

This morning I woke up to my mother calling me at about 7:00, and of course she had nothing to say, she jut wanted to hear me suffer my way into consciousness. "see you haven't had your morning coffee, heh heh" she said Im sure ive mentioned it before, but she calls me for NO REASON AT ALL! hahaha. But I actually really love being woken up by a phone call, or even better a person! I had my morning bowl of Puffins with Very Vanilla soy milk and Blueberries. Its the small things that make my day wonderful. I stripped down and hopped in the shower, and today 88 decided she needed a washing too, she jumped in. Im thankful for that too, because she was getting a little gamey. While showering I came in contact with my least favorite four letter word, and no I dont mean Shit... Hahahahaha. a Lump! and I can be kind of a hypochondriac, but a lump of any kind would scare anyone I'm sure. Its high up on my leg next to... myself. Why I am I writing about this? haha. Well it scared me so I called molly because I remember we called her mom for health advice once before. I don't know what to do, but I definitely know that if it gets bigger at all I am going to take the first flight to NY and get scanned, because the closest hospital here is an hours drive and its supposed to be the absolute worst. And robert told me to go to New York if something happens. I am sure its nothing to worry about, but in this day and age a lump is the enemy of the human race. anyway, I had a good day at work. After having my friend eddy come from boston to help me get shit together, I started to feel better about work, he is a really good worker, which I am not used to because the boy I work with can be rather sluggish. It was also nice just to hang out with eddy, we went to a nice restaurant and drank 6 beers! and whiskey! we were both a mess, but managed to meet at the store at 7 am sharp to get an early start. Hes really fun, and we were able to connect at a metal head level. I think I might be going to boston here and there because they have some amazing concerts. I am kind of happy to be in the north east, its so easy to get to a lot of great things. The weather is getting so much better and some REALLY good places have opened to grab lunch. Which is such a relief because I am SOOO tired of "Bayside Betsy's" and "The Boxed Lunch". I am watching a commercial for a cd called "Celtic Thunder" looks good HAHAHA. I laugh and cry and fart so much more now that I live alone, for real its weird. I think I shut up my emotions A LOT when I am around people, which I hope I am fixing in this time. Anyway I am watching Elizabeth and its back on and I am really enjoying it so I will go finish that.
Call me beep me

Monday is really Friday in Provincetown

2008-03-31T18:00:19Z

Today I am excited, and inspired to write since everyone else is doing so well. Luke from Boston is coming, as usual, but this time early so that he can help me get all the stuff moved out of the store so it can be painted. Tuesday the guys will just be repainting everything so we wont have to do much, but will be payed for the day, which is nice. I am thinking maybe I will cook for the boys. I desperately need to cook for someone. I saw a black person today which may not sound too exciting, but there are NO black people here at all. Its a complete fake little world...at least in the winter. I have found myself compensating for this by listening to a lot of The Roots and Nas and My boy Tupac. I finished one of those giant bottles of Jaagermeister last night, and ended up drinking whiskey straight up. I slept like a rock... But now that I got my new computer maybe I will have less boredom. I ordered the new IMac and its so much bigger than I expected, but it shines with a halo of godly light in all its glory. Im happy to no longer be handicapped with my old labtop. But for now anyway I sit here at work reading livejournal as it is the only thing I can get on, on this network. Its really starting to get busy with tourist on the weekend, which is exciting. I got a nice camera so I will take a million pictures. Until then

Friday

2008-03-29T01:13:20Z

I returned that camera because it wasnt good enough for how much it cost. Someone suggest a good one that works. Today was very very very very boring. in contrast to FREE FOOD DAY which was yesterday I think, I cant even remember. But since Restaurants are starting to open back up they offer free food to "locals" so I jumped on that train and had a really gassy night. My whole body feels exhausted, and I dont know if its from staying up late watching my shows or standing up all day and doing hunched over office work. I ordered a new computer today, which was overdue, since the one I work on now shuts down if you close it or if you unplug it for a second. 88 and I have been exploring the extent of low tide, because it is so shallow that you can walk really far out, but for the same reasonwhen it starts to come in, it does so at an ALARMING RATE! We almost got trapped as the waterwas rushing back around us. Other than that I look foreward to getting drunk and going to my favorite mexican restaurant every friday and saturday. Reema is the bartender and she is more than used to my lonely conversation. "It may be a crazy life, But its our life." - Jon and Kate + 8

Haha. I been drinky

switzerlandand @ 2008-03-24T19:48:00

2008-03-24T23:56:02Z

here is satans church and a monument built by THE pilgrims for people to commit suicide .

This is me talking with my therapist. I do this often.

This is my back yard

And this is my back yard looking at my house

I will take more pictures, I just wanted to put a few up

Plamena

2008-03-18T04:34:15Z

Idol really has the ability to entertain me in any language or region. I have been watching bulgarian idol after seeing "Ken Lee" the engrish version of Without You. I Love Plamena Petrovna

and have always loved Paul Potts.

and Ken Lee

Randy Rhoades

2008-03-12T00:56:23Z

Today 88 and I walked across the Break water which is right next to my house. It is just a long straight (1.2miles) or jagged rocks put there to keep some water in the wetlands I think? but it works as a pathway out to the tip of west point. I had to carry 88 there because she was really freaked out, but once we got out there, she was fine and it was so beautiful. Its just all sand and grass and water and really pretty, you can see the whole cape winding around and the light house is right there. It was nice to look at provincetown from a ways away, It felt like a real getaway. We sat on this big cement block that washed up until the sun started to set and then headed back, and she walked all the way by herself. When I got home I found my Ozzy Osbourne CD and played it in the living room really loud since my neighbor went back to his real life today. I forgot the major crust I had on Randy Rhoades, the guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne. I loved him, and he is the best guitarist I have ever heard in my life. If you get a chance listen to the entire CD Blizzard of Oz. its amazing

Dear Diaryuh

2008-03-09T03:38:13Z

03-08-08
I finally understand why old people always know what the date is! Its because in their office work it is the only thing they write all day long that shows them what time of year it is, how long until they retire, die, etc. I have to write the date a lot at my work. Today was really nasty outside. I started it by taking 88 on a long walk to get all the poop and piss out of her, and we ran into Robert his beautiful dog hudson, and his new "boyfriend" something. But hes really not something. I had the opportunity to have a one on one with him in our drunken stupor the other night at dinner. He seems really convinced that he is going to be dating Robert for a while and that "there is something that just works!" I hope hes right for his sake, but seeing the number of guys I have seen him go through in the last month alone doesnt give me much hope for him. He looks like a male escort. Im going to be fired for this entry. Luckily we got to close really early today because of the weather and Robert told us to go home. I have been trying to make my house look like I live here and its coming along sort of. I think my housekeeper is going to have a heart attack when he sees all the shit Ive added. Hes really anal for someone who doesnt own this house. I went to Dinner at Lorraines tonight by myself and sat at the bar AGAIN and there was a different bar tender, luckily for me, so my story was new to her and she was more friendly. I had paella and I dont know why because I dont like fish in soup but the clams and shrimp here are SO amazing. I almost forgot that this morning I had an interesting run in with my neighbor ( I didnt know I had any ). I was getting out of the shower and standing naked in my bedroom looking at the tv... and all of a sudden there is this man on my back porch with his dog just standing there! He was looking at me and I said "HI!" with that kind of emotion in my voice that made it mean something more like "What the hell are you doing?" and he mouthed "sorry and pointed to the dog?" so I put my robe on and went in the kitchen. we have been avoiding eachother since then. Good thing the pounds have been melting off since I dont eat sakura anymore....since that was the only fattening party of my life in savannah. At any rate not much is different. I went to a movie store today and bought some John Waters movies. And while doing so I was told "oh he comes in here all the time!" so there is hope! The summer "locals" are starting to movie back and things are slowly staying open longer or opening period. I bought these granola bars with 9 grams of fiber in them and they are really working my paella right now, so I will end with that.

A New Frontier!

2008-03-05T02:54:36Z

"I am the worst communicator, and it is my downfall. Soon I will be alone in Savannah forever."

That was saved in my post box from the last time I attempted to write something. I have learned in the last two weeks that neither of those things are true. Here I am in Provincetown Massachusetts, my new home on the very tip of cape cod. I live at #17 delft haven on commercial street, right on the beach in all its beauty, ALONE. About the first week here was very busy and I was distracted enough to not feel the loss right away, but I do miss Savannah terribly. I will take pictures as often as possible as soon as possible, but I am yet to get my phone back from apple so that is to come later. I can say that it is a strange place I live in and not much is really going on. I have to really search for things to entertain me. I have taken to using the taxi as both a mode of transportation and entertainment as they pick up multiple passengers along my ride. Everyone is always headed someplace strange and are very open to talking about where and why they are going. So Ive made a deal with Jodie, the obese lesbian taxi driver, to let me stay in on the ride as long as possible. Sometimes it is just me and her, she talks about the latest installment of her internet sexcapades which are so hard to believe seeing her condition but I know they are true. Especially after seeing a true life about obese gay men and the sexy thin guys who love to fuck them. Shes currently seeing two women, one she is very interested in but is a bitchy hard to get tease and the other a sweet neurotic woman who "wants someone to pay her mortgage and feed the kids" its all very interesting at first but it gets old pretty quick, so if someone doesnt call in I bail. The restaurants here are all very expensive and at the same rate unimpressive so I went on a wild search today trying to find a health food store, which to my surprise I did! I had a delicious meal of veggie italian sausages that I cooked on this really fun hibachi grill on my back porch with an avocado tomato salad. It was actually warm enough to not have to wear five layers today so I sat outside and enjoyed it all on the sand. 88 has been a good girl and is unusually lazy for a puppy. she sleeps a lot and whenever I try and find her she is either on the couch or in my bed under the sheets with her head on the pillow. She is definitely destined for diva-dom. I have been watching a lot of tv...mostly True Life, Hannah Montana, Unwrapped and of course Anthony Bourdain No Reservations. I havnt really been in the drinking scene for about a month now and I think its been really good for my body, although I would really like to warm up next to my loneliness with a bottle of tequila..haha. Or some Vendange AT LEAST! To be honest I cant wait to have any kind of company so if you have any idea of visiting me at all I suggest you let me know asap because if you make the time ill make it happen.. maybe haha. So no pictures but I do have a horrifying video that I suggest you watch. Its only a piece of an entire documentary that was really chilling. Call me beep me.
Cameron

The Perpetual Wanderers

2007-05-13T09:10:36Z

My live as of late has been reduced to worrying and waiting for sunday to come. After coming home from (miz) New Jzork I have been caught in a strange whirlwind of events leading me in all kinds of directions. Now more than ever do I want to quit my job. I just dont deal well with the poison gary feeds me all day. Ever since I began working there I have felt a slow decline in my mental health and its really taking a toll on me. Now it is just a matter of finding another yob somewhere where I dont have to sacrifice so much of my happiness. My parents, being predictably themselves, have managed to orchestrate their latest escape to California without any notice. My brother called me yesterday to say he was in town to see mom and dad before they left. So we went to see them at their house in Isle of Hope ( an interesting location for them to reside) and every single chachki had been packed up in still-to-be-sealed Costco boxes of all sizes. I immediately flashed back to every second year of my childhood. They left for Sunny Sandy Barbra this morning at 2 am. On a whim. As always. For the first time their nomadic instincts have no effect on me geographically. I dont know if my parents will ever be comfortable in their own skin, and I know they will never be able to make sense of all the time they waste. They lack the ability to commit to anything long term. They are just waiting for their lottery ticket to be called so they can finally taste sweet INSTANT gratification. I dont think they comprehend the concept of building in any sense. They just love new beginnings and hope more than they love the monotony of reality. So I suppose in a way they are happy, always finding new goals and building new realities for themselves. working towards new goals, but quite reaching them.
It is a scary thing, worrying about your parents. I am sure most people worry about their parents for some reason, but I have to constantly worry about how their life is going to turn out. I have to mentally follow their decisions and see if there is any happiness at the end of the path they are now deciding to follow. its exhausting. with every new beginning we had as kids our parents would work out all kinds of new exciting things we would have once we were settled in to our new life. they would always make a list of promises, from stuff they would buy us, to vacations that we would (never) take. I dont know if part of their downfall is trying to obtain the small prizes before finishing what they started or if they just dont have the skills to succeed in life. I know my mother does, or did at least, but my dad is just the biggest kid ever to become a parent.
In no way though would I ever insult my fathers intentions or morals. One of the weirdest bonding experiences I have had with my father was in his absence. After he lost his job in wyoming and we moved into the hotel in colorado he was out of work for a long while. The church payed for our hotel on the grounds that my dad would find a job and get back on his feet, but he quickly grew really sick from a kidney stone and was hospitalized. That left me and my sister and brother in a hotel room for a little over a week with a most pathetic collection of snacks that lasted a couple days.Finally on day EIGHT some people from the church had pizza delivered to us. And that pizza tasted better than any food I have ever had the pleasure of eating to this day. As a six or seven year old boy, being deprived of food for days on end is a very traumatic experience. I remember sitting on the floor in the hotel room staring at the ad for pizza hut next to the telephone and closing my eyes and praying to god that when I opened them I would be back at my old house in california where there was food and friends. I had a bike and neighbors and a normal life and it just blew me away that I couldnt have any of it anymore. But finally my dad was released from the hospital. I think he got a job putting up dry wall or something and things slowly got better over the next few weeks. It was a particularly awful winter that year in Colorado. Lots of snow. The hotel sat right next to gas station, where I had my first taste of coffee. My dad and I walked over all bundled to the point that we waddled over there. he bought a large cup of coffee and a pastry. We sat in the laundry mat next store and shared both. He treated the coffee as though it were something that I shouldnt tell my mother about. I felt very wise and manly. But I also felt like I deserved it. we ate a lot of potatoes and beans that year. The food that food banks give you is so strange. Cheese, no bread. Cereal, no milk. Beans potatoes and lots of condiments. But my dad made the most delicious potato triangles and we poured the ketchup on. I am pretty sure that is one reason why I can never eat to many french fries. I just thank god I was as young as I was because most of everything went over my head until years later and life was a pretty fun adventure. my sister however was in sixth and seventh grade and Im sure it hurt her a lot more than my brother and I. After those years my parents felt the need to buy us everything we wanted whenever possible. hence the promises. But my dad did work his way into good jobs and we were in and out of nice houses with good furniture and had food all the time. My mom made it back from jail and we were all together and happy that we had food and eachother, but it was only a matter of time until my dad would lose his job and we would come home to electricity or hot water. and then move weeks later to a smaller house, and then move again and again and wash rinse repeat. even today. One reason why I moved out as soon as humanly possible. The sooner I could become and independent human being the better. I dont know why I felt the need to write about all that tonight, really there is so much good embedded in the bad, it just sounds like a sob story, but it really is the greatest thing that shaped me, and I wouldnt have wanted to grow up any other way. I would never trade the experience and understanding for a few more childhood years of blind comfort. I think that as a result however I am very flippant and nonchalant about a lot of things. Who knows.

Oy vey iz mir

2007-04-30T00:12:44Z

I am trying to hard to finish twelve paintings for tuesday and I am about to give up! but besides that everything in the world is going right I suppose. I rented a documentary that I watched in 10th grade history to try and bring myself back to earth and it motivated me to do a lot of things that I have been wanting to do for since the first time I saw it. I am submitting my global crossroad application to either send me to Jaipur India, or Tel Aviv Israel for six months. I will probably be leaving either in August or January, most likely the latter. I have nearly met my two year anniversary with Savannah which is a big indication to me that it is time to leave, so I am. I think indias a good place for me. I will be working with street children at the orphanage, helping them get ready for school, teaching arts and crafts, cooking etc. Basically being a mother, which I am. So I shaved my head to remind myself to conserve money (which is a little hard right now) and keep myself going in that direction. I also got a tattoo, applied for my passport and created a new amazon wish list. I think I'm ready now.

switzerlandand @ 2007-02-28T00:29:00

2007-02-28T06:05:13Z

I think as a child I loved Janeane Garofalo because her personality just jumps out of her skin with her trademark sarcasm and a bitch like quality I thought was so cool. There is something about her that I am really drawn to, and for some strange reason I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I found a video of her having a political debate and as boring as it seems it was captivating to watch her argue with some schmuk from FOX about the war in Iraq. a pretty old video but I connect with her spirit so much that It actually makes ME feel good to listen to her fully defend every idea she conveys. I think I just have a hard time standing up for myself and thats why I enjoyed it so much.

Also as a child one of my favorite movies was The Long Kiss Goodnight with Geena Davis, there are a few reasons it burned itself into my brain, but mostly because she changes into a completely different person, and I love to witness that. People becoming who they either want to be or were meant to be. And I also thought she was the sexiest woman alive after she cut and bleached her hair. It's a corny movie but I love it.

thats all I think

switzerlandand @ 2007-02-21T01:10:00

2007-02-21T06:27:47Z

Located In San Louis Obispo ( pretty much a bus stop ) I have always eaten here on my way to San Jose to see my grandma, but have never actually had the pleasure to stay the night. In person it is actually very impressive. The mens lobby bathroom consists of a rock wall waterfall that doubles as a urinal, very fun. Anyone I can convince to go home with me sooner or later, be sure that we will make a point to stay in "The Caveman Room" pictured first. Or maybe your favorite. there are tons more where that came from. www.madonnainn.com

Love Cammy

I wouldnt be a Toys R Us kid.

2007-01-24T07:30:17Z

Let me tell you what. I am so close to giving up on a lot of things right now. Let me tell you.

I have been working on this god foreskinned hand composition for my drawing one class for weeks now and on my way home today It must have fallen off my drawing board because it is now missing, and also due in two days, along with a new assignment that should take 6 hours by itself. I didnt shoot my pictures for photography correctly seeing as I didnt vary apertures every time, so I have to re-shoot the whole thing tomorrow morning before work, work for seven and a half hours, and then draw my barely existent ass off until 8:00 at which time I am making myself go develop the film and print my three prints due the next morning. I have to walk to all of these damn places and all my shoes have holes in them because I havnt bought a new pair of shoes in over three years, and I walk hard? I am completely poor and my loving parents owe me 245 dollars that they may or may not pay me back. which leaves me to wonder if I will ever pay my rent this month without selling some part of myself. But the good thing news is that I have a healthy sex drive, and have been working out every day. whether the two are related or not is debatable, but I like to attribute it to the absence of my gross bosses and a very attractive boy at the gym. Worst case scenario; I get an F on two or three assignments and dont make rent. I just feel like everything is going to come falling down on top of me at any moment. I just dont want to be an adult this month, I am tired of it. It makes me bitter and it makes me less fun. working four days and going to school two should be eating parts of my soul like it is. I just miss feeling sane all the time instead of only on the good days.

Hallelujah Challah Back

eight teeth Barf day

2006-12-22T01:30:35Z

I was lucky enough to have spent my third birthday in a row in cockfilled colorado. I was treated to skiing, cheese cake, and dozens of naked teen age ski team boys in the Ritz spa steam room. Normally the spa area is just jam packed with fat republicans, so I suppose god smiled on me? I Went to a chihuly exhibit which was Beautiful naturally, and also I made my soon to be famous pancakes.

Also, my aunt has a knack for knowing how to make me cry, WHICH, is not an easy task. The whole trip to colorado she kept saying " I hope you really cherish your birthday presents this year cammy" over and over and over. At least ten times she said this. And so last night the whole family gathers around me like they do to watch my facial expressions as I open presents and I wear a scarf around my face because I hate when people watch me open gifts. But anyway I finally open hers and its a wicker basket? But I open it and and there is a really old camera in it. I picked it up and there are all these pictures of my grandpa and my mom and her when she was little and stuff that I love like that. So I started getting really hot and she says "It was your grandfathers camera" Which in my family is pretty much the ultimate family heirloom....I am NOT worthy!(My grandpa died when my mom was 13 and he was a great photographer, always taking pictures. being the family photographer is a great honor in our family) So I start to cry and make a fool of myself and my uncle hands me the second gift and Im falling apart and I open up this little black sack and inside is a beautiful gold pocket watch, 1920's art deco. Amazing. The card said something to the effect of " To start a new tradition." a little corny? I dont know. Those are the kinds of gifts that I love the most because they are thought out so well and I just like when people consider me and ITS REALLY THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS! anyway. good birthday. Cant wait to be home.

Love Cammy

@home.

2006-12-17T04:16:10Z

For the first time in two years I am back home. I suppose its not really "home" since I only lived in Santa Barbara for two years out of the ten I lived in california, but Its as close to home as I have for now at least. Nothings much has changed except for a few faces made younger with the marvels of plastic surgery. My little cousins go to a private school in Montecito, which is bursting at its seems with people who shit money, so naturally there is a little nip tuck in the air. Heading for Colorado tomato, via car. We are going to go through Las Vegas on the way "Lost Wages" as my Uncle Joe calls it, "the place we go to visit our money". I was seriously considering eating some meat and In N Out burger but I just couldnt.So my New Years resolution list starts with;Start to eat meat again, in more than once sense. Which honestly is really hard for me. I miss home a little tit.

Love cammy

Pictures you dont want to see.

2006-12-12T06:10:25Z

Probably the best Fifty No Gifty I have ever been to. They had crab cakes with sauce and when put on roll it tasted exactly like the Fillet O' Fish from Mc Donalds, which was amazing for me because I love that. I tried to recommend it to a woman in line with that being a main selling point and she just looked disgusted. I forget not everyone loves overly processed unrecognizable fish patties smothered in creamy goodness.

switzerlandand @ 2006-12-02T01:31:00

2006-12-02T06:31:13Z

Memory # 3

Location: La Porte, Colorado
Grade Three.

Moving to a new city is always difficult, but even more so when your family has no source of income.( I dont want everyone to think that my whole life has been so sad or that everyone should see me differently for what I have been through, I just want to write about things in my life that have really effected how I grew to become the person I am today. ) The motel* we moved into in La Port was a really traditionally trashy establisment, the carpet was rough textured and that deep puke olive color. everything else was pretty generic. My mom was allowed to come visit us for some reason so she flew in and stayed with us for about a week at the hotel. It is so hard to think about being a sane human being in that situation, and I definitely couldnt have survived as well if I wasnt so youthfully ignorant. This time in my life is the only experience I have ever had with literally starving. The Church agreed to pay for the Hotel while my dad looked for a job, and in the mean time we were just sitting there with absolutely no money to do anything. I was going to school and was fortunate enough to be on a free meal plan, but that lunch at school was the one thing I ate all day. I remember being so hungry at lunch time and trying to eat far past what felt comfortable just because I knew I wasnt going to be eating until the same time tomorrow. Christmas break was more of a hell of a punishment than a fun vacation that year. Not only was I cut off from my most reliable source of food, but we got NO TOYS! ha. My grandma had mailed us kids presents for Xmas and of course it was clothes like always, But we decided as a team, us kids to take the clothes back to the store (walking in the snow uphill) and then to buy groceries with the money. I am pretty sure that is the first time I have seen my dad cry. I'm sure he went on to share that story with a church group of some sort and they all thanked god and teared up and held hands. One thing I remember specificly about going back to school, is that the lunch lady began to ask me what I ate for breakfast everyday, and I would lie and make up things because I knew what a Social Worker was and I did not want to be taken away from my family. What a scary thought for a third grader huh? There are so many strange stories about La Porte, simply because it was a gross nothing town with a bunch of mid western poor trash families in a wooded environment. I am glad that I am starting to write some of this down but it is also a little overwhelming because I could never begin to tell you everything. I am more than happy to listen just as much as I talk.

That is all for nowwwwww

Love Cammy